


Christmas Party Prank

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Holidays [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas Party, Dancing, F/M, Non-Abusive Relationship, Oral Sex, Sex, Uninvited Guests, Vandalism, sneaking into a party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 10:21:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12862512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Bruce Wayne is having his annual Christmas party and Joker and Harley decide to go.





	Christmas Party Prank

Harley held onto Joker's pants as he leaned forward dangerously, reaching up to put the star she had made for their tree on the very top. He was dressed in a pair of purple slacks, with bright orange suspenders and an equally bright green shirt with a white diamond pattern on it. He wore a pair of blue and purple striped socks and a pair of black and white oxfords. Harley wore a little red 1950's style dress with little cap sleeves and snowflakes all along the bottom of it. She had on a pair of little red flats and her blonde hair was styled up in a bouncy ponytail. 

The walls of the “living room” in their hideout was decorated with the fuzzy tinsel garland in reds, greens and purples along with cutouts of Santa Claus, snowmen and Christmas trees along with a few Jewish symbols such as a dreidel and a menorah mixed with the Christmas decor. 

The star they were both working to put on the tree was a bright, glittery star with red, black, purple and green glitter covering every available surface of the white plastic star. It had a bulb stuck up inside it that plugged into the lights to make it glow...if Joker could manage to get it on top of the huge tree they had stolen, Harley thought. The star was her crowning glory for the tree; Harley had spent the last two days on making it just perfect. 

Joker grinned leaning precariously forward. “Almost there!! Hold on Harls!!” 

“I'm holding! I'm holding!!!” Harley yelped. She held on with both hands wrapped around his deep plum colored slacks while Joker leaned forward balancing only on one leg. 

The step ladder she was on wobbled as did the ladder that Joker was on, the two of them looking like two tilting, toddling towers of K'nex sets that had been put together by a child. Finally, with the very tips of his fingers, Joker managed to drop the star onto the very top of the tree. 

“YES!!” Joker grinned in triumph. With a little more balancing, Joker yanked the cord around and plugged the star into the lights. Harley yanked him backwards just as he started to fall forward. She let out a loud squeak just before she toppled off her ladder yanking backwards and taking Joker with her. They fell backwards to land on the pile of bean bags Harley had set up around the ladders just in case they fell. Joker landed on top of her with a loud, “Owf!” 

Harley groaned. “OUCH!” 

Joker giggled. “Hey! My landing was pretty soft. I give myself a 10 our of 10 for sticking the landing!” He wiggled on her, his arms out wide, his whole body wiggling. 

Harley groaned. “Get off!! You weigh a ton!!” She pushed him, but he refused to move. 

Joker pouted twisting around to roll off of her and gathered her into his arms. “No I don't! Take that back.” 

Harley giggled. “Jerk. Didn't even ask if I was all right.” 

“I figured you were all right because you were complaining, my little clown.” Joker chuckled and nibbled on her shoulder until she tried to squirm away from him when his attentions moved to the ticklish spot on her neck. She gigged and shoved at him as he became a dead weight. 

“I can't move!!” Joker yelled. “Gravity is rebelling!!” Joker laid heavily on her, his arms on her shoulders while the rest of him began to sag pressing her down into the bean bags. 

Harley squealed trying to shove him off, but he refused to cooperate. 

“You're a jerk!!” Harley laughed, which only made him giggle more as she shoved on him. He rolled over then, letting her go for a moment. 

“Oh, I'm a jerk am I?” Joker hissed playfully, grabbed her, and yanked her back down just as she got to her feet. He grabbed her by the skirt of her dress when she tried once more to get to her feet, yanking her back for a second time. Harley went down with a gasped, “Ooof!” Then Joker hauled her back and crawled on top of her; he rolled her over onto her back grabbing her hands and pinning her arms over her head. 

“Now, am I a jerk?” Joker grinned and giggled. “Hehehe...” 

Harley wiggled. “Yes you are!! A big old JERK!” 

He giggled as he licked his lips. “Mm...keep wiggling, I like it!” 

“Puddin!!!” Harley whined, but she was starting to giggle too in addition to making little pleased noises each time he pressed and wiggled against her. Joker smiled and licked her lips, pressing his hips between her legs. She could feel the hard bulge pressing against her. She made a little gasping moan when Joker rubbed against her just right, sending pleasurable waves through her, tickling up her spine and spreading through her groin, but that was the moment the door to their “living room” opened and Bob came in carrying a huge bowl of popcorn. He started to walk over to the tree when he saw them on the floor and stopped. Bob turned and started to quickly leave, but Harley yelled, “It's okay Bob! We're just playing!” 

Joker stuck his bottom lip out at her. “Aww...Harley...It was just getting really interesting...Hehehe....” 

Harley giggled. “Later puddin. I promise, I'll wind your clock real good puddin,” Harley purred wrapping her legs around him and pressing her hips up to grind against him. 

Joker groaned. “Mmm...I'm keeping you to that promise pumpkin.” 

Joker giggled, rolled off of her and hopped to his feet. “Okay Bob! Popcorn garland duty!!!” 

He put his hands out for the bowl which Bob put into Joker's waiting arms. 

Joker grinned wide, his smile spreading from ear to ear. “TO THE COUCH HARLEY!!” 

Harley giggled jumping up and racing over to throw herself onto the couch. She pulled the TV remote from between the cushions and flicked it over to her favorite local show, “The Rich and Famous of Gotham.” 

While Harley grabbed the needles and thread that Bob offered her, she and Joker began threading popcorn onto the string for their tree while the hostess of the show, one Lori Lynn, a blonde bombshell who Harley insisted had had everything on her face and body enhanced by plastic except her ears (“And she ain't a real blonde, I should know,” Harley had said with a superior air one night during the show), smiled at the camera with perfect too white teeth. 

“Hello Gotham!! Tonight we are going to talk about the Christmas parties that are going to be happening among the Gotham elite this holiday season. We are going to start our discussion with Bruce Wayne, who this year for his annual holiday party, is throwing a sparkling star studded masked party to kick off the holiday season!! As always with our most eligible Mr. Wayne, this will be a party slash charity event all money raised going to the Gotham Children's hospital! That party will kick off the season this upcoming Friday! 

“In other news, Zubin Zucchini will be having the next big bash of the holiday season...” 

Harley took a large handful of popcorn and stuffed it in her mouth muttering. “Mr. Bruce Wayne...La. Ti. Da.” 

Joker chuckled, also taking a bite of popcorn before stringing two pieces carefully on the thread. “Careful Harls, you sound a little jealous.” 

Harley made a face. “I don't know puddin...how come we never have Christmas parties?” 

Joker snorted. “Because every time we get everyone in one place someone tries to kill someone else.” 

Harley giggled. “Isn't it usually you puddin?” 

“Moi?” Joker put his hand to his chest looking offended. “Why would I ever try to kill anyone Harley? Really!” 

Harley giggled and threw some popcorn at him. Joker ducked giggling. “Wasting popcorn pumpkin? I'm ashamed of you darling!” 

He threw some popcorn at her, making Harley squeal. Soon stringing popcorn for their tree was completely forgotten. The two of them threw pieces of popcorn at one another for the next several minutes, but then Joker stopped just as Harley had grabbed a huge handful and was about to chuck the lot at him, his eyes lighting up with an idea. 

“Harls! I just had an idea!!!” 

Harley stopped, then frowned and shoved the popcorn into her mouth instead. “What?” 

“It's a masked party correct?” Joker grinned at her. 

Harley nodded slowly, chewing. Joker giggled and drummed his feet on the floor. “Let's go!! We could go in disguise!!! It would be fun! Eat some free food, drink some free drinks...steal a few presents for ourselves...” 

“Steal what?” Harley asked, though she liked the idea of getting to dress up for a party. 

“Ppfffttt!! It's Wayne Manor, I'm sure that prissy billionaire has a ton of stuff around the joint worth millions!! We could take anything at all!” Joker giggled, eating a few bites of popcorn. “Anything at all!” 

Harley grinned pulling her legs up onto the couch as she giggled, excited. “It's a costume slash masked party...I could dress as a playboy bunny! I got this new suit the other day...” 

“No.” Joker frowned and narrowed his eyes. 

“No?” Harley pouted. “But, it's got bunny ears like a playboy bunny and a little bow tie...” 

Joker shook his head. “No. That's for me and no one else. My present...” 

Harley giggled and nodded. “Ah, got it puddin.” 

“I want the whole thing...even a fluffy tail,” Joker said, his voice flat and quite serious. 

Harley smiled. “Got it puddin. Ears, bow tie, fluffy tail.” 

“And fishnets.” Joker grinned. “Definitely fishnets.” 

Harley nodded. “Fishnets.” 

Joker nodded. “Got it? 

“Got it.” Harley giggled again. 

“Good.” Joker threw some popcorn into his mouth just before his smile brightened further. “But you know what this does mean Harley?” Joker grinned wide. 

“What?” Harley asked her blue eyes bright with excitement. 

Joker giggled like a child. “SHOPPING!” 

Together they squealed. 

* 

The following morning Joker and Harley set out to purchase (or steal) outfits for the Wayne Christmas party for the following night. A light snow drifted down through the grey afternoon air, tiny flakes floating on the light breeze. Joker shivered. He was dressed in a thick grey cable knit turtleneck sweater, plum colored slacks and a black topcoat. He wore a pair of black winter boots with thick bright orange and purple socks. Most of his green hair was hidden under a purple and black knit cap with ear flaps and a huge pompom on the top, though curls of green hair snuck out from under the cap. He also had a bright red scarf wrapped round the lower half of his face. He had wanted to wear a Santa hat, but Harley had nixed that idea when she told him they were trying not to get caught, and being out during the day was bad enough, but for him to dress like usual was sure to get them caught. Right now he looked like a million other Gothamites, even with his green hair sticking out from under the cap—wild hair colors were no longer uncommon among the populace, crimson, green, blue, pink, purple... 

Harley was dressed in a pair of black leggings, black boots, a thigh-length red and black plaid shirt, with a black puffer coat with a faux fur trimmed hood and a bright red and green jester style winter hat with oversized pompoms at the end of each tail, her long blonde hair worn loose and down her back over the top of the hood. She had a matching red scarf like Joker's wrapped around her face. 

They had their arms linked together while they walked down the busy Gotham sidewalk, Joker holding a bright purple umbrella over them against the snowflakes drifting down and weaved their way through the crowds of holiday shoppers heading toward one of the shops that catered almost exclusively to Gotham's special kinds of criminals. 

* 

The shop, called “Gotham's Dapper Cake-eater,” was nestled between a Payless Shoes store and a hipster coffee shop/bakery. The display window had a 1920's style tuxedo in the window with what Harley thought was a gorgeous green and gold flapper style dress. Joker snapped their umbrella closed and opened the door for her, bowing at the waist, his eyes dancing as he held the door open for Harley. She winked at him sliding past him. 

Once inside they both removed their hats and scarves. The man behind the counter was a dapper little fellow, short, pudgy and wearing a three piece black and white suit with a sprig of holly attached to his lapel. The sounds of Vernon Dalhart's song “Santa Claus, that's me” played in the background. The little man saw them and squeaked with joy. 

“Master Joker!! Miss Quinn!! What a delight to see you both!!!” 

The little man threw his arms around both of them, pulling Joker and Harley into a shared embrace. “It's been such a long time since you two were in here!!” 

Joker laughed patting the shorter man on the back. “Nice to see you too Benny my dear!” 

“Hey Benny sweetie!!” Harley giggled hugging the little man back and hopping in place as she did so with enthusiasm. 

Benny stepped back, though he kept a hand on each of their shoulders, his grin wide. “Now what can I do for my two favorite customers? Costumes for a particular caper? New outfits for your gang? Just name it my friends.” 

They all heard the sounds of squawking that could only be coming from one Oswald Cobblepot drifting up from the back of the shop. “Benny!! Benny!! Where is that velvet top hat you promised me?” 

Penguin waddled onto the main floor of the shop with his cane at his side. He stopped short when he saw Benny standing with Joker and Harley. 

He frowned slightly his voice bland. “Joker, Harley.” 

Harley squealed. “Pengie!!” 

Harley rushed over and threw her arms around the shorter man hugging him and kissing him on both cheeks while she made little squealing noises. Penguin smiled blushing a bit while he carefully hugged her back. 

Joker groaned loudly. “HARLEY! Don't kiss him!! Blah!! I'm going to hurl! He smells like old fish.” 

Harley ignored Joker standing back to smile at Penguin, her hands on his shoulders. “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Chag Urim Sameach! “ Harley giggled happily. 

Penguin smiled. “Happy Holidays to you too Harley my dear. And fuck off to you Joker.” 

Joker gave Penguin the middle finger and a big grin. 

“Why don't you both look around while I finish with Mr. Cobblepot here.” Benny smiled walking over and put his hand on Cobblepot's shoulder to turn the man around. The music had just changed to the Savoy Christmas Medley by Lloyd Shakespeare's New Piccadilly Band; the old time music filled the shop with a happy sound. Harley figured the tune might be from the 1920's judging by the sound of it. Joker came dancing over to her, one hand on his chest doing a solitary waltz over to Harley. She giggled watching his tall lean figure maneuver through the racks and displays of clothing. When he was close enough, Joker yanked her away from Penguin, a little harder than necessary and into his arms. 

Grinning from ear to ear, Joker started to dance around the room with her. 

“Sure thing, Benny my dear!! You go help the bird, my baby here and I will look around,” Joker said happily as he began to waltz with Harley. 

Joker spun her around so that Harley's back was to Cobblepot and proceeded to stick his tongue out at Penguin who simply turned his nose up at him and went with Benny. 

Joker grinned down at Harley. “I do love dancing with you.” 

Harley giggled. “I love dancing with you puddin, but shouldn't we be looking for outfits?” 

“Yes, my sweets, we should. I think the music has inspired me! How about a 1920's getup?” Joker smiled waltzing around the shop with her. 

Harley giggled. “I think that sounds divine!” 

Joker laughed, dipped her back and spung in a circle with her until Harley was dizzy and giggling merrily. 

* 

It took them over an hour to decide on their outfits, after Cobblepot took his leave of the shop, but not before sticking his tongue out at Joker on his way out the door. There were just so many choices, so many beautiful outfits, but they finally settled on a set of clothing along with masks to go with them. Harley had settled on a sleeveless burgundy and black beaded Remarque fringe flapper dress, paired with long black gloves that reached to the middle of her upper arms, black silk hose, and a pair of black embroidered satin t-sharp shoes with a low heel. 

Joker picked a black tuxedo with a black and grey pinstriped vest, white dress shirt and black bow tie, spats and black oxfords along with a classy black cane. They had both chosen vintage masks to wear. Harley chose a horned devil mask that covered the upper half of her face, forming down along her cheeks. The red mask was trimmed in a gold and purple glitter design that wove around the sides and along the eyes and horns of the mask. 

Joker's mask was also a horned devil mask, but where Harley's was bright red with the swirling glitter designs, Joker's was more of a deep, dark dull red, with no glitter at all and a devilish brow making the wearer of the mask always look as if he were smirking. Benny frowned at their mask choices. 

“I thought you said this was a holiday party? These masks are more for...Halloween.” Benny motioned at the masks. 

Joker laughed. “Nah! They're perfect! We're just going as Krampus' little helpers, right Harls?” 

“Sure thing puddin!” Harley giggled wrapping her arms around one of Joker's arms and leaning against his shoulder. He grinned and gave Benny a salute with the hand that carried the bag. “Thanks Benny!” 

“You are very welcome Mr. Joker, Miss Quinn! And Happy Holidays!” Benny waved. 

As they hit the Gotham sidewalk Harely squealed. “This is going to be so much fun!!” 

* 

The following evening at Wayne Manor, Bruce Wayne, dressed in a black tuxedo with a red bow tie and sprig of holly attached to his lapel with a bright red ribbon, was in the main ballroom with a glass of champagne in his hand that he wasn't sipping from, watching his guests with a keen eye. The ballroom of Wayne manor was decorated for Christmas and no expense had been spared. There was a giant Fraser fir that dominated the far end of the ballroom. decorated in gold, bronze and silver; white lights twinkled merrily from the tree and extended throughout the ballroom. The dancing white lights, like little stars, were hung throughout the room extending from inside Wayne Manor to outside where several of the trees had been covered in additional white lights. The theme of bronze and silver extended throughout the ballroom mixed with bright red ribbons, large displays of poinsettia along with miniature Christmas trees that sat like jewels in every corner of the manor, along with Christmas wreaths that hung in front of every table. Nearly every surface was decorated with some sort of Christmas theme. The tables were loaded with a wide assortment of holiday themed treats and young woman and men in elf-themed or Santa-themed costumes were walking around with silver platters of champagne, wine and a few holiday themed drinks such as candy cane cocktails, hot buttered rum, mulled wine and cider jack cocktails. A few members of the wait staff carried out trays of finger foods for the guests. A live string quartet played Christmas music while a few people danced or simply milled about, socializing—talking and laughing. 

Bruce watched all the gaily dressed guests with close scurtiny. He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen tonight; he just had no idea what or even why he felt that way. Perhaps it was because the Gotham super criminal element had been quiet the last few weeks? 

Bruce sighed and continued to watch his guests. Most were in evening wear with a variety of masks, while a few were dressed as elves, or Santa, a handful of reindeer, a couple of snowmen and one Krampus. Bruce was watching the Krampus with a frown. Whoever he was, he was the only Krampus in attenance, dressed in a dark furry costume with large curved horns on his head. Bruce was studying the Krampus costume when Alfred, dressed in a formal traditional butler's uniform, stepped up beside him. 

“Sir, you have a few more guests to greet.” 

Bruce acknowledged Alfred with a barely perceptible nod while he narrowed his eyes at Krampus. Whoever was in the costume was completely masked. The costume was encompassing; he couldn't be sure if it was a man or a woman. They weren't doing anything strange, exactly and the only thing they did out of the ordinary was lift the Krampus head up and take a bite of food or a sip of a drink. Bruce caught a glimpse of lips and chin, but from this distance, he still couldn't be sure if Krampus was a man or a woman. Or more importantly, Bruce could not determine the identity of the person. Bruce stared with narrowed eyes at Krampus, who was currently browsing the treat table. Bruce frowned then turned to Alfred. “Keep an eye on Krampus there, something feels off about him.” 

“Off, sir?” Alfred asked while taking Bruce's untouched champagne glass and followed him to the front of the house with a backwards glance at Krampus. 

Bruce shrugged. “I don't know...he just feels off.” 

Alfred smiled and asked with a lifted brow. “Could it be that you are on the naughty list sir?” 

Bruce chuckled. “Oh haha...” 

Alfred continued to smile while they both walked swiftly to the front door. “I shall endeavor to determine exactly how “off” Krampus is along with my other duties tonight sir.” 

Bruce gave Alfred a smile. “I'm sure you will. Thank you Alfred.” 

“I live to keep an eye on holiday goblins sir.” Alfred nodded and turned to leave while Bruce met his guests. 

Bruce shook his head with a grin and hurried to the front door where the doorman he had hired—dressed as if he had stepped right out of a Victorian era Christmas book—had just opened the door for a fresh round of guests. Outside it had begun to snow again, the large fluffy flakes falling gently against the twinkling Christmas lights. The light caught them and made the snow look like tiny diamonds. 

Bruce smiled, his arms open wide as he greeted his guests. “Welcome, welcome and Happy Holidays!” 

The first couple that entered was elegantly dressed with the simple lace masks that seemed to be popular for these sorts of events. Bruce recognized them instantly as Oliver Queen and his girlfriend, Dinah Drake. 

“Ah. Thank you so much Bruce for inviting us!” Oliver Queen, blonde haired, green eyed and grinning from ear to ear, grabbed Bruce in a bear hug and lifted the slightly taller man off his feet with the force of his embrace. Bruce yelped in surprise letting himself be lifted and squeezed. Oliver's date, Dinah Drake rolled her eyes with a laugh giving Bruce a little wave. “Hiya Bruce.” 

Bruce laughed. “Hey Dinah, glad you guys could make it.” 

“Are you kidding Bruce? Your parties always have the best drinks!” Oliver grinned setting Bruce back down before he grabbed Dinah around the waist. “You always have the best food too!” Oliver laughed and gave Bruce a salute before escorting Dinah toward the ballroom. 

Bruce chuckled watching them go just as the next couple came up. Bruce turned to greet them then frowned slightly. He didn't' recognize the couple, though they were dressed quite nicely, wearing 1920's era clothing with a pair of vintage devils masks. The man seemed to have the lower half of his face painted white and he had dark green hair which triggered an immediate gut-wrenching reaction, but Bruce quickly calmed himself. He had already seen several guests with a variety of colored hair from Christmas red and green, to purple and pink. The man's date was a shapely blonde; her dress hugged her figure nicely and her blonde hair looked like spun gold the way it softly curled along her shoulders. Her lips were painted a bright red as were her date's lips. 

The man reached forward with black leather gloved hands and grabbed a hold of Bruce's hand. He shook Bruce's hand so vigorously that Bruce's entire body moved. The man's grip was incredibly tight and surprisingly strong considering how slim he was compared to Bruce. 

“Bruce Wayne!! Wow, I'm just so pleased to meet you!! Getting an invitation to your Christmas party is just the best thing that could have happened to me and my wife here!” Bruce frowned while the man continued to shake his hand until Bruce was sure it was going to come off. “Ah, yes well...you're welcome Mister...?” 

“Oh, yes of course. You couldn't possibly remember our names. We made a HUGE donation to some Gotham reconstruction project! It was a blast!! My wife and I really love to be able to help Gotham reach its full potential! You know what I mean Mr. Wayne! Sometimes you gotta break a few eggs when trying to bring in something new.” The man's grin broadened into a wide smile. 

“ Mr. and Mrs. Joe Skelton at your service Mr. Wayne! Here to help bring in the Christmas season of sharing you know. So pleased to finally get to meet you in person. You are so much taller and way more handsome than your pictures, don't you agree darling?” 

The man put his hand on his wife's back and shoved her forward. The blonde woman giggled. For a moment Bruce frowned thinking he had heard that laugh before, but then chalked it up to having run into them at some point, especially if they were regular donators to any of the Gotham renovation projects that he sponsored. 

Her voice was high and sweet with a slight accent that made Bruce think of Brooklyn. Her smile was lovely though, even with the mask. She grinned at him. “Oh indeedie do, husband mine!” 

The wife put her hand out. She was also wearing gloves, but the kind that nearly encased her entire arm. Bruce took her hand and bowed over it, kissing her cloth covered knuckles. “Well, I'm always pleased to make new friends,” Bruce replied thinking to himself that he really needed to look at these guest lists that Alfred put together. It was embarrassing to have guests he didn't know. Bruce released her hand and stepped aside, with his other arm out inviting them into his home. 

“Well please come on in, enjoy yourselves—there is plenty of food and drink.” Bruce smiled. 

Mr. Skelton smacked him on the shoulder hard enough that Bruce actually stumbled. “Thank you darling, we will!” 

Bruce watched as Mr. Skelton put his arm around his wife's waist and escorted her into the ballroom the two of them laughing. Bruce frowned again. While her laugh sounded familiar, her husband's laugh made his skin crawl...there was something...but then arms wrapped around him from behind breaking his train of thought. 

“Mr. Bruce Wayne...now where on earth is that mistletoe?” 

Bruce turned around to find Selina smiling up at him, licking her lips in that slow seductive way that she had, all thoughts of the Skeltons thrust from his mind. Selina wore an Oscar de la Renta form-fitting floor length black dress with beautiful embellished tulle over the top of the skirt, woven with crystals that made her resemble a clear night sky. Her short black hair was styled in such a way as to frame her face, her eyes were made up a smoky black and her lips were a deep Russian red. 

Bruce felt himself melting when he saw her. “Selina.” 

She gave him a coy smile. “Bruce.” 

* 

Joker snorted nearly choking himself on a belly laugh. “That was too easy!!” 

Harley giggled and leaned against her puddin. “Oh puddin, look at the trees!!! They are so pretty.” 

But then Harley's blue eyes landed on the table, filled to overloading with Christmas treats. Harley squealed. “PUDDIN!!” 

Joker, who was drifting toward the stairs, his mind wandering to what might be up there...wondering where Bruce Wayne might keep his safe, or what other goodies might be up those stairs, when Harley yanked him around, nearly tugging him right off his feet. Joker let out a startled yelped as his blonde girlfriend hauled him over to the dessert table. 

“OH MY GOODNESS!! Puddin!! Look at all the treats!!” Harley squealed and yanked up and down on Joker's arm. Joker was jerked in place stumbling while Harley hopped around like a hyperactive child until he yanked his arm free from her. 

“Geez Harley, you act like you've never seen a Christmas cookie before!” Joker rubbed his shoulder glaring at her, but when he finally turned to really examine the table he had to admit, Wayne knew how to put out a spread of treats. There were not just your simple run-of-the-mill Christmas cookies, there were also cupcakes, candy canes, mini gingerbread houses, a wide variety of fudges, puddings, jellos and things he wasn't even sure what they were except bright and colorful. Joker giggled. “Bruce Wayne has a sweet tooth, toots.” 

Harley grabbed a paper plate and loaded it down quickly with goodies before she picked up a brightly decorated Santa Claus cookie and held it to his red lips. “Have a bite puddin.” 

Joker grinned leaning in to take a bite. Harley giggled watching his mouth, his red red lips, licking her own colored lips with a clear hungry look that had nothing to do with the food on her plate. Joker's eyes danced behind his mask watching the expression of Harley's eyes behind the mask and the way she licked her ruby red lips. He knew exactly what his mouth did to her and he winked at her after taking a bite of the cookie. Harley giggled taking her own bite. They both turned from the dessert table to exmaine the party. Harley grinned around her second bite of cookie. “I've never been to a posh Christmas party before. The last holiday party I went to was when I was in college. It was just a few decorations and a Santa Claus that got drunk, stripped naked, except for his fake beard, and vomited in the fireplace.” 

Joker turned to look at her and shook his head. “There are some things you shouldn't see, and a naked vomiting Santa is one of them.” 

Harley giggled having shoved half a brownie into her mouth. Joker snickered at her. He was just thinking about sneaking off when the quartet started to play “The Christmas Waltz.” A young man in a black tuxedo and a poinsettia on his lapel, his blonde hair slicked back, started to sing. 

“Frosted window panes, candles gleaming inside 

Painted candy canes on the tree 

Santa's on his way, he's filled his sleigh with things 

Things for you and for me... 

* 

Joker frowned as he watched a few couples move to the middle of the room where other guests had moved out of the way to allow people to dance. Joker smiled and turned to Harley. He put his left arm behind his back and held his right hand out to her bowing. 

“Would you honor me with this dance Miss Quinn?” He looked up at her, blue eyes merry behind his devils mask. 

Harley, her mouth full of cookie, looked down at Joker as if he had grown a second head. She swallowed, reached out and grabbed a drink off a platter as a Christmas elf walked by. Without looking at the drink, she downed the acholol in one swallow before putting the glass down on the tray of the next waiter to walk by. “Are you serious Mistah J?” 

Joker tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes dancing, his smile wide and reaching to his eyes. “Of course I am. I'm always serious.” 

Harley wrinkled her nose and giggled. “No you're not.” 

Joker grinned even wider in response, but he kept his hand out to her. “Il mio amore?” 

Harley giggled, a blush creeped along her cheeks. She wasn't sure what he said, but it sounded nice. 

He chuckled. “Well? Dance with me or are you going to stand there looking like an idiot?” 

Harley smiled, wrinkling her nose at him in mock irritation before she put her plate of treats aside and took his gloved hand. “I would love to Mistah J.” 

Joker stood and yanked her into the circle of his arms. He wrapped one arm around her waist, spreading his fingers. He gripped her tightly though not so tight that she couldn't dance with him. He then took her other hand in his right hand. They stood there unmoving for a heartbeat, staring into each others eyes, lost in a sea of blue before Joker began to waltz her out to the dance floor. Harley stared at his eyes through the mask while Joker led her, moving two steps to the right, then slowly turned, two steps to the left, then a turn again while the violins and cello played in soft romantic notes and the singer continued, his voice soft and warm. 

“It's that time of year when the world falls in love 

Ev'ry song you hear seems to say "Merry Christmas, 

"May your New Year dreams come true" 

And this song of mine in three-quarter time 

Wishes you and yours the same thing, too...” 

Joker turned her around once, her body moving in a slow graceful circle, the fringe of her dress swung out catching the lights. Then she was back in his arms before he stepped to the side again, one, two, turn, one, two, turn. Then he simply walked with her, leading her in a soft swaying circle around the dance floor, his blue eyes never leaving her face. 

Joker took her hand and spun her around his back, following her with his eyes, turning to watch her twirl around him, before he spun her in a circle and tugged her gently back into his arms. He then led her to stand beside him, turning in a circle while they moved up and down the dance floor. Harley would turn in a circle next to him, their bodies weaving up and down in a small space of the dance floor the dancing to the count of one, two, turn, one two, turn. 

Harley giggled, her eyes never leaving his face. Joker smiled wrinkling his nose playfully at her. “Tesoro mio.” 

Harley giggled. “Are you calling me names?” 

Joker grinned and while she couldn't see it, she felt him lift his brows mockingly at her. “I always call you names, pumpkin pie.” 

They both laughed and spun around the room. 

* 

Bruce smiled when the music changed ,walking arm in arm with Selina onto the dance floor. “Would you care to dance?” he asked with a boyish grin once he turned her out onto the floor the music having just changed to “All I Want for Christmas is You.” The singer was performing a reasonable imitation of Michael Bublé's sound with the song. 

Selina laughed while Bruce tugged her with him. “I suppose.” 

Bruce chuckled and swung her into his arms before he swayed out onto the dance floor, though his attention was diverted when he saw Krampus standing over by the wall, intently examining one of the many expensive paintings that hung in Wayne Manor. Bruce frowned, but Selina reached up, laying her fingers against the side of his jaw to turn his face toward hers. 

“Bruce? What has your attention so riveted?” She turned to follow where he had been gazing. She made a face at the person in the costume. “Krampus? Someone came to your party dressed as Krampus?” Selina shook her head with a laugh. 

Bruce leaned close to her. “I think it might be the Joker.” 

“Now why on earth would you think that? I mean besides coming to a Christmas party dressed as Krampus.” Selina chuckled while they spun around the dance floor. 

“Well, coming to a Christmas party dressed as Krampus of all things seems like something the Joker would do...and Krampus has been acting oddly all night,” Bruce muttered. “I don't know. Just...something is up...” 

“First, I don't think Joker knows you're Batman, does he?” Selina asked in a quiet whisper watching Krampus each time Bruce spun her around. 

“No, but that doesn't mean anything.” Bruce frowned. “He could just be crashing Bruce Wayne's party...to gas everyone...or steal something...” 

“Well coming as Krampus makes him stick out like a sore thumb.” Selina smiled. “I don't think it's him. Besides, if it is, what has he been doing?” Selina lifted her brow at him. 

“Well, nothing, actually. Eating, drinking...talking to a few people...wandering around...” Bruce frowned not as sure of himself as he had been a few minutes before. 

Selina nodded. “Then Bruce, just enjoy your party and leave him alone. Maybe he was lonely. If it is Joker, maybe Harley went home for the holidays or something...doesn't she have a family? Or maybe she's spending the holidays with Ivy and he misses her. Let the man alone. Until he does something. Besides Bruce, you don't really know it's him.” Selina kissed his chin. “You need to stop being Batman and just be Bruce Wayne for tonight, all right?” 

Bruce sighed turning around to watch as Krampus wandered over to Lois Lane. She had come by herself...Clark was on assignment overseas for some news story or other; that was the story. (Bruce knew the truth, which was that Superman had taken off with Green Lantern for one of their interstellar issues.) 

* 

On the dance floor, Harley felt her breath come in short little gasps, her heart hammering in her chest. She had danced with her puddin before, many times since they had been together, but each time was more special than the last. Every time he danced with her, she felt her heart become more and more his every moment they were together. Tonight was no exception. 

Joker grinned showing off his perfectly beautiful white teeth as he danced her around the room. 

Joker smiled and licked his lips once and chuckled softly his eyes roaming over Harley. “You ever wonder what Bruce Wayne's bedroom looks like?” 

Harley giggled with a wrinkle of her nose beneath her mask. “What?” 

Joker shrugged. “Well, I was thinking...” He spun her around swaying with her to the music. “That a guy like Bruce Wayne probably has a HUGE bed...and you know...maybe we should go...check it out...” Joker chuckled deeply as he dipped her, holding her easily. He didn't miss a beat, pressing a kiss on the soft skin of her chest, just above the cloth of her dress. 

Harley giggled in response. “I'll grab the plate of treats if you grab a platter of drinks.” 

Joker chuckled placing her back upright. “Race you up the stairs.” 

Joker let her go, spinning away from her as gracefully as any professional dancer. Harley grinned rushing over to where she had set her plate of treats to load it up with more cookies, fudge and other sweet things until she had a virtual pyramid of Christmas goodies, before she wove her way through the crowd heading to the stairs. Joker frowned looking around for a tray of full champagne glasses. He saw Harley dart off from the corner of his eye. He frowned. Shoot, she was going to beat him! After a couple of more seconds he saw a young brunette dressed in a skimpy reindeer costume holding a full tray of champange. Joker danced through the crowd to catch her before anyone could snatch a glass from her tray. 

“Ah! Let me take that from you young lady!” Joker hurried over lifting her tray away from her. The young woman squeaked in surprise. “But sir...” 

Joker laughed. “No worries dearie, these are going to good use. Besides, I'm sure Mr. Wayne has more acholol waiting in the kitchen! Go, go go go!” He held the tray of drinks in one hand while with the other he shooed her off. The young woman frowned, then with a shrug hurried off back the way she had come. 

Joker moved quickly, dodging and weaving away from grabbing hands until he had finally cleared the crowd. The only person to notice him was Selina. She saw two masked people heading toward the stairs, the man with the tray of drinks and the woman with the plate of Christmas desserts. She chuckled softly watching the two of them heading up the stairs suspecting they were searching for a quiet place to be together. She smiled, a little envious. She would love to pull Bruce away to a closet for a little necking, but Bruce Wayne wouldn't leave his party, the Batman had the stink eye on Krampus, sure that something was about to happen. Selina sighed. Oh to date a guy a little less rigid. 

* 

Harley had made it up the stairs without the butler or anyone else stopping her. She glanced behind her and spied Joker just as he hit the stairs. She rushed ahead of him trying to keep her giggling down as she grabbed the first doorknob she saw. She pushed the door open and peered inside. It was a bedroom, but it clearly was not Bruce Wayne's. The room was smallish with a double bed, nice, but there was clearly a lack of...opulence to it; a guest room. Harley moved on to the next room. She opened this one just as Joker caught up to her. They both peered inside, Joker leaning his chin on her shoulder. The room looked like an office with a computer and desk along with bookshelves lines with books. 

Joker groaned. “Boring...come on Harls.” 

They headed to the next door, and the next. Joker pouted. “I'm beginning to wonder if this guy has a bedroom or are all bedrooms guest bedrooms?” 

Harley sighed. “And they all suck. I want to know where the big one is!” 

Joker giggled. “You know what this place needs? A “You are here map!” 

Harley laughed. “With a big red dot! Oh and a symbol that shows where the bedroom is...like a big red dot!” 

Joker laughed. “No, no, a big red BED!” 

They both laughed and continued on their quest to find the bedroom. 

* 

Selina snagged a cranberry cocktail off a tray, walking over with Bruce to where Dick Grayson was sipping a drink laughing at something Barbara Gordon had said. Next to Barbara stood her father, Commissioner Gordon. He was in a nice brown suit, though he managed to somehow still look rumpled and tired despite the crispness of the suit. Dick was dressed in a tailored black suit, not too dissimilar to the suit Bruce wore, with a bright red tie that matched Barbara's lovely red floor-length sleeveless dress. Her hair was piled on top of her head and held in place by a diamond comb. They both wore red flowers; one on Dick's lapel while Barbara wore a matching flower on her wrist to match Dick's lapel pin. Selina chuckled, it was like the two of them were going to the Christmas prom. He wore a laced mask that matched Barbara's. Selina thought the two of them looked adorable, a bright young couple completely in love enjoying a Christmas party together without spending their time following a guy dressed like Krampus around the party with their eyes. Dick smiled brightly and waved when he saw Bruce and Selina. 

“Bruce!!!” 

Bruce's attention was pulled away from Krampus, who was dancing with Lois Lane at the moment, if it could be called dancing Selina thought. (Selina had been forced to push Bruce past the two of them since Bruce wanted to go back and drag Krampus off of Lois.) Selina had shoved Bruce back on track toward Dick, Barbara and Gordon who were all talking while standing near the dessert table. 

Bruce smiled when he saw the younger man. “Dick, glad you could make it!” 

Bruce walked up quickly and took the younger man's hand. He started to shake his hand, but Dick pulled Bruce into an embrace. The two men hugged. “Of course I came Bruce. Bludhaven can live without me for one night.” 

Bruce stood back and placed his hands on Dick's shoulders. “I swear you're more muscled than before, what've you been doing?” 

Dick laughed. “Sparring with Barbara here.” 

Barbara smiled. “He's improving—slowly.” 

They both laughed. Bruce turned his attention to Gordon. “Commissioner, glad you came.” 

Commissioner Gordon tipped his drink up to Bruce. “Thank you for inviting me Mr. Wayne.” 

“Of course, Comissioner Gordon. I'm just happy you were able to attend.” Bruce smiled. 

Selina sensed that Bruce wanted to speak with Dick and Barbara, put her arm through Gordon's. “Commissioner, would you like to dance?” 

Gordon looked flustered. “Ah, well, I don't know...” 

Barbara laughed giving her Dad's shoulder a shove. “Oh, go on Dad! Go dance.” 

Selina gave Bruce a wink before she led Gordon out onto the dance floor to the tinkling sound of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” 

Once Gordon was out of ear shot Dick whispered. “What's up Bruce?” 

Bruce stepped closer to Dick and Barbara. “The person dressed as Krampus—something is up with him.” 

“Besides an ugly costume, and maybe having bad taste to wear to a Christmas party?” Dick chuckled. 

Barbara glanced over to Krampus. “What do mean something is up with him? He looks fine to me. Just a really ugly costume.” 

“I think it might be the Joker,” Bruce ventured. 

“What?” they both said at once, a little too loudly, drawing some speculative glances from nearby guests. 

Barbara frowned. “That can't be the Joker; where's Harley Quinn then?” 

Bruce frowned. “I don't know.” 

Dick sipped his drink. “You don't think you're just being paranoid?” 

Bruce shook his head. “No, I don't.” 

* 

Joker groaned. “This place has too many bedrooms for one man.” 

“You think he tried them all out? You know, like on a rotation? Sorta like the mad hatter and the tea party chairs?” 

Joker chuckled. “Maybe each date ranks a different bedroom?” Joker dropped his voice making it really deep. “You, lady were only a six, you get to have me in the blue room.” 

Harley made a face. “The cad.” 

They both giggled like naughty school children and hurried to the next room. 

* 

They had finally arrived at the end of the long hallway and Joker opened the last door on the right. He peaked inside, flipped on the light switch before he leaned out and whispered at Harley. “Bingo!” 

The two of them stepped into a huge room. Harley readjusted her assessment—the room was massive. Joker wondered aloud, figured the room was the size of a least four of the spare bedrooms put together. The walls were paneled in black wood paneling while the floor was a dark, shiny, wood floor. There was a large throw rug near the bed in a dark pebble grey. The bed was a queen size with a dull gold and brown comforter, big thick pillows and a throw at the end of the bed in a deep chocolate brown. The windows on one side of the room reached up to the wall, covered in large heavy black curtains, and a heavy classic looking chandelier hung from the center of the ceiling. Behind the bed were large black and white photographs of landscapes. There were black wood bedside tables, a large black wing-backed chair and a large round black footstool, as well as a large changing screen. 

Joker made a face as the two of them stepped inside closing the door behind them. 

“Wow, if I didn't know better I would think Bruce Wayne and Batman went to the same decorator. All blacks and grey. Blah...ugly.” Joker stuck a finger in his mouth and made a gagging noise. 

Harley curled her lip in puzzlement. “How can someone sleep in a room with no color!! No wonder Bruce Wayne seems so dour all the time.” 

“We really need to do something about this room. Hey, Harls, you got some of our lipstick on you?” Joker asked with a grin. 

Harley, balancing their plate of sugary sweets with one hand, stuck the fingers of her free hand down the front of her dress and pulled out a gold tube. She took the lid off to show a stick of bright red lipstick. “Sure do puddin!” She held it up like a prize. 

“Perfect my sweets! ” Joker set the tray of drinks down and snagged the lipstick tube from her. He grinned merrily. "Ooo, still boob warm!" 

He applied some to his own lips to freshen his look, smacked his lips together, then grinned at her. 

Harley swooned. “Mm puddin, you look good enough to eat.” 

Harley giggled tugging off her mask and tossed it aside where it landed on the floor with a clatter. Joker pulled off his own mask and tossed it next to Harley's on the floor while Harley set their treats down next to the drinks. Joker went to the windows and dramatically yanked back the curtains. Then, with a flair, he began to draw smiley faces on all the window glass along with “HaHa!” and “Merry Christmas!” Harley clapped her hands. “Oh puddin, it's beautiful!” 

Joker stepped back grinning at his work. “I know baby.” 

Joker tossed her the lipstick, Harley caught it out of the air setting the tube down next to the Christmas cookies. She then proceeded to kick off her shoes, yank her dress up and raced over to the bed throwing herself on it. Joker watched her laughing as Harley rolled around, then stood up and started to bounce on the mattress. “Oh wow!!! This is a springy mattress!! Come on puddin!” 

Joker kicked his own shoes off and climbed onto the bed taking Harley's hands. Together the two of them started to jump up and down on the bed. 

Harley squealed. 

“Five little monkeys jumping on the bed 

One fell off and bumped his head 

Mama called the doctor 

And the doctor said 

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!!” 

Joker laughed. He held her hands tightly, the two of them bouncing around in a circle, both of them laughing until Joker yanked her down pulling Harley down to the mattress. They both crashed down laughing together. Joker rolling away from her and reached over to grab one of the pillows before he rolled back to hit Harley in the face with it. 

Harley squawked in surprise. “PUDDIN!!” 

“Too slow!” Joker laughed and slugged her again with the pillow just as Harley was trying to sit up. Harley yelped, the pillow smacking her right in the face. She rolled away to grab her own pillow before she twisted back and slapped him in the face her pillow. 

Joker had just started to push himself up into a sitting position when the pillow struck him in the face knocking him back flat against the bed. 

Harley moved as quickly as she could, scrambling on top of Joker armed with her pillow. She raised the pillow over her head, prepared to whack him again with it when he reached up and grabbed her by the front of her dress yanking her down to cover her mouth with his in a scorching kiss. Harley made a surprised little, “Meep!” 

She instantly tossed her pillow away with a groan, wrapping her arms around his head. He chuckled, his hands reaching down to slide up her hips, pushing her dress up at the same time. Harley had worn silk stockings with a garter belt under her dress. He enjoyed the feel of her skin under his hands between where the silk stockings and garter belt touched her thighs. He chuckled and decided that he wanted her with the stockings still on. 

Harley cupped his face, kissing him hard, her tongue playing with his while her hips ground against his own. She bit down on his bottom lip hard enough to cause a spike of pain, but Joker didn't care; he enjoyed the pain and the bite only made him harder for her. He grabbed her hair yanking her head back. Both their faces were smeared with red lipstick. Joker grinned gazing at the redness of her lips smeared along her lips. “Get that dress off Harley.” 

Harley giggled. “Get that suit off then puddin.” 

They disengaged, the two of them stripping out of their clothing in record time, dumping everything along the side of Bruce Wayne's bed. Harley wore a red laced bra and panty set under her dress with a red garter belt to hold up the black silk stockings. She had just started to remove her stocking, leaning down slightly to disengage the clips, but 

Joker pouted. “Leave 'em on Harls, just those and the garter belt.” 

Harley giggled with a little nod. He could see the shift of her pale creamy shoulders when she did. Harley had had her back to him while she sat on the opposite edge of the bed. She stood up and turned around. Joker lay on his back watching her, his blue eyes full of hunger. His Harley was a vision, her long blonde hair curled softly, her pale skin against the black of the stockings and the red of her thong panties made her look even more desirable. She had already removed her bra, her golden hair curling just above the nipples of her breasts teasing him with the way the pink nipples were only barely hidden by her hair. Harley put her finger up to her lips with a coy smile. “But how am I gonna get my panties off puddin?” 

“Hold that thought! I never leave home without at least one of my beauties!” Joker chuckled referring to one of his switchblades as he rolled over to grab his pants from the side of the bed. 

Harley crawled on her knees onto the bed. She giggled watching him while he struggled with his slacks. He was completely naked, the light from the chandelier was a pale white light and it danced beautifully over his ghost white skin. Harley caught her bottom lip between her teeth, her gaze riveted to his lean, pale form, the way the muscles of his stomach crunched when he leaned over, the soft slope of his hip, the taut muscles of his legs, his numerous tiny scars and then his erection. She had never found an erection attractive before until him...every inch of him made her ache with want and just looking at his pale member hard and waiting for her, the slight curve, the delicious silky feel of his skin made her swoon. 

Harley pounced on him before Joker could come back up with his switchblade, grabbing his shaft with one hand, her mouth wrapping around the warm erection in the next second. Joker dropped his slacks and the blade which he had just found, a deep groan of pleasure rumbling in his throat as he dropped back against the pillows which created a “Poof!” sound when his head hit them. 

* 

Dick frowned. “I don't know Bruce, he seems a bit awkward to be Joker. I mean look at the way he is dancing. Joker knows how to dance. We've all seen him dancing several times.” He glanced at Barbara for confirmation. She gave Dick a nod of agreement. 

The music was the strings version of “Rock'in Around the Christmas Tree” and Krampus, along with Lois, was indeed dancing like a...well...a dork was the only word that Bruce could come up with that fit whatever it was that the man seemed to be doing. 

Barbara chuckled. “Bruce, I really think you are just being paranoid. I don't think you know how to enjoy yourself and that has you on edge.” 

Bruce frowned. “We need to get him alone and unmask him.” 

Barbara and Dick shared a look; clearly Bruce hadn't heard a word they had said. 

* 

Joker groaned loudly, his arms over his head, his fingers digging into the soft material of the pillows under him while Harley took a particularly hard sucking pull on his member with her lips, her warm wet tongue playing a zipzag along the underside of his shaft at the same time. She giggled sucking him down, taking all of him into her mouth until he touched the back of her throat and she pulled up, pressing her lips against him. 

Joker's eyes crossed, his hips arching off the bed. Harley bobbed her head, her hand that was wrapped around him slid up and down in time with her sucking pulls until he thought he might just expire. Death of the Joker, by incredible blow job by his right hand gal Harley Quinn. He giggled then groaned. That would be a much more fun way to go out than killed by Batman. 

Harley slathered him with her tongue enjoying the warmth of his erection in her mouth, playing the silky head of his pale penis against her lips, the tip of her tongue sliding along the slit, tasting the salty flavor of him as he struggled not to orgasm yet. Harley's eyes danced watching him groan and struggle. He looked so sexy spread out before her, his arms over his head, his head thrown back messing up his carefully styled green hair. She loved bringing him to his knees—figuratively and truly both—with just her mouth and tongue. She lowered her mouth down on him again, relaxing her mouth to take all of him in, dropping her hand to cup and squeeze his scrotum at the same time. 

Joker let out a deep moan, arching his hips toward her beautiful mouth. He glanced down, watching her as she left red lipstick stains on his groin, which only made him ache all the more. 

Joker groaned loudly. “Damn Harley!!” 

She pulled her lips slowly up then caressed the head of his shaft with her tongue and smiled, her eyes meeting his which only made Joker groan even more. “Oh damn.” 

* 

Bruce motioned. “See if you can get him to follow you out to the balcony. I want to unmask him without causing a scene.” 

Barbara frowned. “I don't know Bruce...did you try just asking him to take off his mask?” 

Dick snorted into his drink on a laugh. 

Bruce gave them both a sour look. “Fine. Don't believe me, but would it hurt to make sure?” 

Dick sighed. “I suppose not.” 

Bruce smiled and nodded. “Barbara, can you ah...get Krampus?” 

Barbara handed her drink to Dick. “No problem.” 

* 

Joker bit his bottom lip, rubbing his hands up and down Harley's backside. She was on her knees on the bed, her hips arched up presenting herself to him like a black silk wrapped Christmas present. Joker chuckled. “All I want for Christmas is to bury myself in Harley Quinn.” 

Harley glanced behind her smiling at him and wiggled her rear. “Come and get it puddin.” 

Joker made a little growl of pleasure pulling the thong aside with his long fingers, holding himself against her, rubbing his head against her wet opening, teasing her. She felt so good already, warm wet welcoming, he eased himself inside her, feeling her wrap around each inch of him, sliding deep inside her. 

Harley groaned and dug her fingers into the bedspread as she arched her back feeling him burying himself inside her. 

“Oh hell Harley, Merry Christmas!” Joker laughed as he wrapped his hands around her hips and yanked her back against him. 

Harley made a squeak of pleasure dropping her arms down to her elbows in order to arch her hips back even higher. “Ooo! Puddin!” 

Joker's fingers dug into her skin as he yanked her back against him, holding her there, just enjoying the feeling of being buried deep inside her, not wanting to move... 

Harley whimpered, her muscles contracting around him. “Oh Mista J...” 

Joker dropped down to one hand, the other he wrapped around her reaching forward to cup one of her soft breasts in his hand, catching her nipple between his thumb and finger, rotating his fingers around the sensitive nub gently before dragging his thumb over the surface of her nipple. Harley moaned pushing back against him. Joker dropped his hand from his breast, wrapped his arm around her hips and thrust harder. 

* 

Bruce and Dick followed Barbara who was holding Krampus' hand and leading him out of the ballroom toward the balcony. It was cold outside tonight, so no one was out there. The two men followed quickly, neither of them noticing when Lois Lane, her brow cocked upward, followed them. 

* 

Harley cried out as her orgasm washed over and through her. “OH Sugarplums!!” 

Joker laughed. He straddled her left leg, her right leg up against his chest, resting against his shoulder. He ran his hands down her leg enjoying the feel of the silk stalkings she still wore while at the same time thrusting into her. He enjoyed the wet sound that they made when he thrust. Harley arched her back groaning loudly. “Oh puddin!! Yes! Yes!! Harder!!” 

Joker hissed. “Fuck, Harley you feel so good!” 

“Harder puddin! Harder!!” Harley yelled. 

* 

Krampus stood on the balcony, his voice muffled, but now that they had him out here Bruce was beginning to doubt himself because there was something about the man's voice that sounded...familiar. And it was not Joker familiar. 

“Hey guys.” Krampus gave them a little wave. “Can I help you with something?” 

Bruce stepped forward, his eyes narrowed. “Take the mask off.” 

“What?” Krampus asked in a confused voice. 

“I know its you. Take the mask off.” Bruce took another step forward his hands tightening into fists and his blue eyes narrowed. 

All of them heard the door behind them open and the voice of Lois Lane said with a clear smirk in it. “Go ahead, take the mask off.” 

Bruce started to open his mouth thinking he needed to get Lois out of there when Krampus removed the head of his costume. “Geez Bruce, I thought I might surprise you after everyone left, but I guess you got me figured out. Should have known...I mean being the world's greatest detective.” 

Bruce, Dick, and Barbara all stared at Clark Kent who was holding the Krampus head under his arm and smiling sheepishly. 

Lois laughed and stepped over to put her arm around Clark's waist. “I had a feeling the jig was up when I noticed the way you kept staring at him. Clark wanted to surprise you, he was just waiting for the right moment.” 

Dick glanced at Barbara, which sent the two of them into a fit of giggles. Bruce was blushing while trying to look as if he had known it was Clark the whole time. 

* 

Joker grinned gazing down at Harley lying under him. She was on her back, her blonde hair pooled around her head like a halo, her eyes bright and her smile beautiful. She ran her hands up his neck whispered passionately, her body bouncing slightly with his thrusts. “Mm...give it me to me puddin...oh yes!” 

Joker hissed leaning heavily on his arms, thrusting his hips forward against her. She wrapped her legs around his waist while digging her fingers into his shoulders, her entire body arching into his thrusts. 

“Oh puddin!!” Harley groaned out tossing her head back as another orgasm ripped through her. 

Joker cried out arching his entire body into hers when she tightened around him, cumming with a groan. He thrust a few more times, riding out his orgasm with a shudder. Harley whimpered pulling him down to kiss him, wrapping her arms tight around him. She buried her face against his neck enjoying the warm afterglow that immediately settled around her. Joker wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck until she started to giggle. 

“Ack!! Puddin that tickles!!” 

Joker nibbled her neck, then her ear until she began to scream with laughter. “PUDDIN!” 

Joker laughed. He loved finding all her ticklish spots. “You can't stop me!! I have you prisoner!! You have just been very naughty!!! You're on my naughty list, just where I like you!” 

* 

It was early morning. The last of the guests had left, leaving only Bruce, Selina and Alfred. Alfred had headed off to bed after Bruce had insisted that they could clean together in the morning. Alfred had gratefully accepted. Now Bruce and Selina were walking up the stairs to his bedroom after Bruce had asked her to stay. 

Bruce sighed. “I'm sorry. I don't know why, but I've been having a...well I guess a “Joker” vibe all night. It's as if I could have sworn he was here.” 

Selina kissed his cheek. “Well, maybe I can do a few things to get your mind off the Joker, hmm? Give you a little early Christmas present?” 

Bruce chuckled with a mischievous grin. “That sounds like a wonderful way to end the evening.” 

Selina laughed. “Well I hope so!” 

They both chuckled making their way down the hall to Bruce's room. Bruce opened the door, flipped on the light and stopped dead when he saw the state of his room. 

The windows were smeared with lipstick...with smiley faces and the words “HaHa!” and “Merry Xmas Bruce baby!” written on the windows. The bed was a mess, the comforter all messed up, pillows tossed around on the bed and on the floor. Laying on the pillows that were still on the bed, were two old-fashioned devils' masks. Bruce gazed around as his pulse quickened slightly in irritation. Those words from the window were also written on the walls. But the worst part was that over the bed in bright red lipstick were the words.

“JOKER AND HARLEY WERE HERE!! MERRY XMAS!! NICE BED!!” 

Bruce groaned as he realized that Joker and Harley had been here, right under his nose, then he growled. “I knew it.”


End file.
